#writing
A childhood memory that still makes you smile
User’s Original Memory:
When I was 4 or 5 years old, I also burnt a neighbour’s house. It was a winter. I took a box of matches from home and try to do something with it with my friends. After some discussion, we set our eyes on the haystack in the back of the kitchen of my neighbour’s house. We crouched together beside the haystack and grabbed a bunch of hay. One kid held the the hay, and I tried to ignite a match. After several attempts, it got ignited, and I moved the match to the hay. There was a flame and the flame grew larger. The boy holding the burning hay threw it to the haystack. There was a burst of cheers. But soon the flame got out of control and it burnt a hole to my thick cotton pants. We were scared and scattered in every direction. Then the adults noticed the fire and they rushed to the site with forks and water bucket. The fire was put out very soon.
Revised Memory:
When I was four or five years old, I almost burned down a neighbor’s house. It was winter, and I had found a box of matches at home. Curious and excited, my friends and I wanted to see what we could do with them. After some discussion, we set our eyes on the haystack behind the kitchen of my neighbor’s house. It seemed like the perfect experiment.
We crouched beside the haystack, giggling as we grabbed a handful of dry hay. One boy held the hay while I struggled to strike a match. After several attempts, the tip finally ignited, and I carefully moved the tiny flame toward the hay. The moment the fire touched it, a small flame appeared, flickering wildly in the cold air. Excited by our success, the boy holding the burning hay tossed it onto the haystack. At first, we cheered—it felt like magic. But within seconds, the fire grew much larger than we had expected.
Panic set in as the flames leaped higher, licking at the dry hay. The heat was intense, and before I could react, I felt a sharp sting on my leg—the fire had burned a hole in my thick cotton pants. Fear replaced excitement, and we scattered in every direction, running as fast as our little legs could carry us. The next thing I knew, adults were rushing to the scene, shouting as they grabbed buckets of water and farm tools to put out the fire. Within minutes, they had it under control.
Looking back, I still smile at the reckless innocence of childhood. It was a terrifying moment back then, but today, it’s a story that makes me laugh—especially when I think about how my biggest concern at the time was my burned pants rather than nearly setting a house on fire!
Comments:
- “I also burnt a neighbour’s house” → “I almost burned down a neighbor’s house”: Avoids confusion and improves clarity.
- “It was a winter” → “It was winter”: More natural phrasing.
- “Try to do something with it with my friends” → “Wanted to see what we could do with them”: More natural and fluid.
- “It burnt a hole to my thick cotton pants” → “The fire had burned a hole in my thick cotton pants”: More grammatically correct and vivid.
- “The fire was put out very soon” → “Within minutes, they had it under control”: More natural phrasing.
Notes 
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