#writing
1. Original Writings, Revised Versions, and Explanations
First Paragraph
Original Writing:
When I was CTO of a company, I had to fire an employee 23 senior my age. A newly recruited software engineer proved to be incompetent for the post. His teammates began complaining his work and I tried to communicate with him to help him improve his work but to no avail. His joining in the team did not meet our expectation. Furthermore, keeping him in the team was beginning to cause frustration among other teammates. But firing him was a difficult decision to make mainly because he was 40 something and had a family to support. I was hesitant because I had empathy towards him. But after weighing different factors and consulting with the CEO, I decided to let him go.
Revised Version:
When I was the CTO of a company, I faced a challenging decision to fire a newly hired software engineer who was significantly older than me. Despite repeated attempts to help him improve, his performance did not meet our expectations, and the complaints from his teammates persisted. Keeping him on the team caused growing frustration among others, yet I hesitated because he was in his forties with a family to support. After weighing various factors and consulting with the CEO, I decided that letting him go was the most responsible course of action for both the team and the company.
Explanation of Revisions:
- Clarity and Conciseness
I replaced phrases like “23 senior my age” with “significantly older than me” to make the language more natural.
I also merged some sentences to maintain a smoother flow and to avoid repetition.- Grammar and Cohesion
I introduced smoother transitions (e.g., “Despite repeated attempts…”).
I made sure each sentence was grammatically sound and logically connected.- Tone
I used “challenging decision” and “did not meet our expectations” to keep the tone professional and empathetic.
I emphasized your empathy by mentioning “he was in his forties with a family to support.”- Structural Flow
The final sentence clearly states that letting him go was the best decision for the team and company, creating a transition for further explanation.
Second Paragraph
Original Writing:
As a tech leader, my primary responsibility was to keep the tech team work smoothly and efficiently to help realize the company’s business goals. An employee who failed to coordinate with his teammates and finish his assigned tasks was a liability. I believed laying off him was beneficial to the tech team as well as the company in large. But my decision certainly would affected his financial situation negatively. I fully understood the hardship he would encounter as the household breadwinner. Being professional as a leader inevitably involved making such difficult decisions.
Revised Version:
As a tech leader, my primary responsibility was to ensure the tech team worked smoothly and efficiently to achieve the company’s business goals. An employee who failed to coordinate with teammates and complete assigned tasks created significant challenges for the entire team. I believed that letting him go would ultimately benefit both the tech team and the company at large. However, I also recognized that my decision could negatively impact his financial situation. I empathized with the hardship he would face as the primary breadwinner, yet I understood that professional leadership sometimes requires difficult decisions for the greater good.
Explanation of Revisions:
- Grammar and Clarity
Changed “keep the tech team work smoothly” to “ensure the tech team worked smoothly” for proper usage.
Replaced “was a liability” with a more descriptive phrase “created significant challenges.”- Flow and Tone
Used transitions like “However” to connect the ideas.
Used “letting him go” instead of “laying off him” for more natural phrasing.- Empathy and Professional Responsibility
Emphasized the hardship he would face as the primary breadwinner.
Concluded with the reality that leaders must make such decisions for the greater good of the organization.
Third Paragraph (Concluding Paragraph)
Original Writing:
After I had made my mind, I asked him into my office and told him the decision respectfully but firmly. He became emotional and yelled at me and the situation became ugly. I kept my cool, though. I told him neither he nor the company was to blame. It was just because he and the position didn’t match. Anyway, I accomplished the task eventually. On reflecting that, I found I should have taken part of the blame. I should have been more thorough in the hiring process. I later was aware that in some companies they had their future teammates involved in the interview when assessing candidates. I think that’s a practical method to mitigate the risk of hiring the wrong employee. However, firing an employee is and always be part of the business world, as empathy to human nature.
Revised Version:
After I made up my mind, I called him into my office and delivered the news as respectfully but firmly as I could. He became emotional and briefly raised his voice, but I maintained my composure and explained that neither he nor the company was entirely at fault—it was simply a mismatch in skills and role. In reflecting on the situation, I realized I should have taken some responsibility for not being more thorough in the hiring process. I later learned that some companies involve the future teammates in interviews to help avoid such mismatches, a method I now believe could mitigate similar risks. Though firing an employee will always remain a difficult reality in the business world, empathy and careful planning can make such decisions more responsible and considerate.
Explanation of Revisions:
- Conciseness and Clarity
I combined ideas to show how you delivered the news and reflected on the decision in a single, coherent flow.
I replaced “yelled at me and the situation became ugly” with “briefly raised his voice” to maintain a professional tone.- Grammar and Syntax
Used “After I made up my mind” instead of “After I had made my mind” for more natural phrasing.
Ensured correct transitions and clear sentence structure.- Reflective Tone
Added explanation of why you took responsibility and what you learned.
Emphasized that future teammate involvement in hiring can prevent similar situations.- Balanced Empathy and Professionalism
Recognized the universal difficulty of firing an employee.
Concluded that empathy and careful planning help leaders handle such matters more responsibly.
2. Final Revised Version of the Entire Text
A Time I Had to Make a Difficult Decision
When I was the CTO of a company, I faced a challenging decision to fire a newly hired software engineer who was significantly older than me. Despite repeated attempts to help him improve, his performance did not meet our expectations, and the complaints from his teammates persisted. Keeping him on the team caused growing frustration among others, yet I hesitated because he was in his forties with a family to support. After weighing various factors and consulting with the CEO, I decided that letting him go was the most responsible course of action for both the team and the company.
As a tech leader, my primary responsibility was to ensure the tech team worked smoothly and efficiently to achieve the company’s business goals. An employee who failed to coordinate with teammates and complete assigned tasks created significant challenges for the entire team. I believed that letting him go would ultimately benefit both the tech team and the company at large. However, I also recognized that my decision could negatively impact his financial situation. I empathized with the hardship he would face as the primary breadwinner, yet I understood that professional leadership sometimes requires difficult decisions for the greater good.
After I made up my mind, I called him into my office and delivered the news as respectfully but firmly as I could. He became emotional and briefly raised his voice, but I maintained my composure and explained that neither he nor the company was entirely at fault—it was simply a mismatch in skills and role. In reflecting on the situation, I realized I should have taken some responsibility for not being more thorough in the hiring process. I later learned that some companies involve the future teammates in interviews to help avoid such mismatches, a method I now believe could mitigate similar risks. Though firing an employee will always remain a difficult reality in the business world, empathy and careful planning can make such decisions more responsible and considerate.
Notes 
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